Ghosts of Christmas Shopping Days
by Reily96
Summary: Roy is a total cheapskate when it comes to the holidays. And the presents he gives to people aren't so great. So now the Ghosts of Christmas Shopping Days are haunting him! Slight RoyRiza
1. Roy is a Cheapskate!

Rei here! This is a little something I came up with recently and I thought, hey since it is the season why not post it now? So here it is! The Ghosts of Christmas Shopping Days now begins! Oh yeah, one more thing, well things. I'm not using the military ranks because I forgot them. Hehe... Sorry. And I'm not doing any Yaoi crap in this story. I'm sorry to disappoint you all but I'm proudly anti-yaoi. Show mercy on me, tis my first FMA fic.

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of FMA. I'm just borrowing them!

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There was once a man named Roy Mustang. Mr. Mustang was your ordinary guy who worked for the military. He bossed around his underlings sometimes and teased them a lot too. He procrastinated with paperwork but despite all that he was a rather good soldier. But Roy did have a really big problem when it came to the holidays. And that's where our story begins… 

"Let's see… this year I think I'll give Fullmetal another one of those Christmas cards… I love seeing the look on his face when it mentions about his height… hehe…" Roy said smugly. He loved to annoy Ed, especially during the holidays. Hughes always used to say that one day he would get coal for Christmas, and that he should put more thought into his Christmas shopping, but Roy couldn't help it. It was just fun to see the look on his face. But then Roy sighed. It was around this time of year Maes would be showing pictures of Elicia in her Christmas clothes. Then he'd be asking Roy what he was getting her for Christmas.

"That's right! I need to figure out what to Elicia! If not I know Maes's ghost will haunt me." Roy told himself. He thought once again about different presents. But what did little girls like? And then Riza walked in.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir but- Hey shouldn't you be doing your paperwork?" She asked him.

"That can wait till tomorrow… Hey Hawkeye! You're a girl! What do girls like as presents?" Roy asked. Riza blushed a little and then thought for a second. "To be honest, sir, I couldn't say…"

"What are you saying you're not a girl?"

"NO! I'm saying that all girls are different and I would need to know who the girl in question would be to answer it."

"I'm trying to find a present for Elicia."

"Oh, okay. Well… a dollhouse maybe?"

"And how much do those cost?"

"Around twenty dollars or more I guess."

"Twenty dollars? Hmmm… that's pretty pricey for a house for inanimate objects…. Oh well, thanks Hawkeye, I'll be back tomorrow!" Roy said as he walked out of the room. Riza was going to object but he was out of the room before she could say anything. "Great… Now I forgot now I forgot what I was going to tell him…" Riza said miserably.

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"Wow! I can't believe I found a dollhouse for 50 cents!" Roy said as he was carrying a crappy looking dollhouse. He went through his door and set down the dollhouse. 

"Well I don't need to worry about Hughes haunting me now!" He said. Then he plopped himself on his bed and went to sleep.

Ding… Ding… Ding… That was the sound of the clock ringing, saying it was Midnight. Then a cold wind swept through the house. Roy woke up. "I must've left the window open again…" He said as he got up towards his window. But a closer look told him that it wasn't his window. It was firmly closed. He forked an eyebrow. "Strange…"

"Or is it?" Said a familiar voice. Roy turned around in alarm and then "Maes?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Said the pearly white ghost.

"Aren't you… I get it now. I'm having a crazy dream…" Roy said uncertainly to himself. Ghosts didn't exist. He even proved it by disproving the whole Wear house 13 thing (technically they realized their mistake but… that's not the point). "No Roy this isn't a dream. I'm here for a reason."

"Reason? But I got a present for Elicia! You can't be haunting me because of that!"

"You're right; I'm here for something else. Though I am disappointed that you did get a crappy present for my darling Elicia, I'm not here for that. Because technically that Present's job."

"What are you talking about?"

"Roy… I am the Ghost of Christmas Shopping Days Past!"

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There it is. Hope you like. If no one kills me, I'll post the next chapter up. 


	2. Christmas Shopping Days Past

WOW! I'm actually alive, and not with a bad review! I thought for sure I'd be killed because of this fic! Glad you guys are enjoying it. Here's chapter 2! And Rei is out!

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Chapter 2: Shopping Days Past

There was an awkward moment of silence and then Roy broke it by saying "Yup… I've officially gone insane."

"You haven't gone insane Roy, you… just need to learn a lesson."

"Learn a lesson?" Roy asked. What lesson would he possibly need to learn? "What are you talking about Maes? I don't need to learn a lesson!" Hughes sighed and then put his ghostly hand on Roy's shoulder. "I don't think I could really explain things to you, it's all very complicated. But in simple terms… Roy you're a cheapskate."

"Me, a cheapskate? What gives you that idea?" Roy asked. Maes forked an eyebrow and then pointed to the dollhouse Roy got for Elicia for 50 cents. "What? It's perfectly fine!" He told Hughes confidently. Maes sighed and then sent a weak ghostly wind towards the banged up dollhouse. As soon as the draft hit it, the small little house broke apart. Maes turned back to Roy. "You're a cheapskate." Roy gritted his teeth at this comment.

"C'mon Roy. Let's see if going into your past will help you go down the road of… of not being cheapskate." Hughes said.

"Wait, going into my pa-" Before Roy could finish asking his question they were both sucked into a shining portal. The feeling was like being sucked into a vacuum cleaner (wait… they even have vacuum cleaners in this show? -shrugs- … whatever.). It felt like his skin was going to rip off but then he fell flat on his face into the snowy ground. He sat up with a shiver and then got a look around. He recognized this place. The small little house right near the town… It was his childhood home! Then, the kid version of Roy ran out of the house. Roy was startled and stepped back a bit.

"Don't worry. You can't see you." Maes said. They both looked at the small Roy building a snowman in his front yard. Then "Roy, get back inside! You'll catch a cold!" Roy's mother said. The small child version of Roy frowned but went back inside. Maes then made a gesture for Roy to follow him. They were in front of the window now.

"Hey Roy! I got something for you!" Roy's father said. The kid Roy jumped up and down excitedly. "Really? Really? What is it?" He asked as his father took out a present from the closet. He set down the present and like lion going for the kill Roy pounced on it. He tore the wrapping off and then the look of joy on little Roy's face faded. "Um… Dad? What's this supposed to be?" Roy said as he looked down at some planks of wood and tire skeletons. "Well you said you wanted a bike for Christmas, but they're really expensive, so I figured you could build one! Plus getting the supplies was much cheaper!"

"… But Dad… Bikes aren't made with wood."

"Okay, I think I know where you got the cheap part from. Anyways, we should probably be heading to your next memory." Hughes said. Roy then turned quickly and said "Is there any way we don't have to use that big shiny portal?" Hughes rolled his eyes and said "Fine, fine… be that way." And then it was like the fast forward button was pressed. Everything was rapidly moving past, the days and nights lasting mere seconds. And then everything began to slow down. They were still in the same spot, in front of the same house. Then a teenage Roy walked into the house.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" the teenage Roy said. Then Roy's father rushed into the room. "Roy! I got your present!" He said handing Roy a badly wrapped gift. Roy wasn't very enthusiastic like his little boy self. It was like the teenage Roy knew what to expect. He tore the wrapping off and forked an eyebrow.

"I bought it today! It was cheaper than the one you wanted but I figured, what's the difference." Roy's dad said. The teen aged Roy looked at his dad. "Dad… this isn't an alchemy book… It's on the differences between circles and triangles."

"Wow… You're dad was even more of a cheapskate than you." Hughes said. Roy merely looked away. He didn't like remembering that his dad didn't know the difference circles and triangles and alchemy… "Well now we'll go to a more recent memory. Which guest stars yours truly." Hughes said. Once again it was like someone pushed the fast forward button. But this time the whole setting changed, and now they were in front of Central Station. Maes made another gesture for Roy to follow him. They entered the building and then they saw Riza, Havoc, and Hughes (that must be pretty awkward. The ghost is right next to you but the memory version is right in front of you XD).

"Hey the Colonel got us presents!" Hughes said carrying three boxes. Havoc sighed "Does the Colonel know I'm Jewish?" ("Hey, Havoc is Jewish!" Roy asked surprised. "SSSSHHH! Pay attention!" Ghost Hughes snapped.). Hughes shrugged and put the presents down in front of Riza and Havoc.

"There's one for Ed too but he's not here so…" Hughes said. He then tore open his box "Well… if it isn't a really old camera…" It was quiet for a second. "Well, I never can have too many cameras to take a picture of my Elicia!" He said happily as he examined the antique camera. Havoc then gave another sigh and tore open his small little present. He looked at it and then put a face. Hughes and Riza peered over Havoc's shoulders. It was merely a note that said:

"Havoc, you've been acting weird. I suggest you get a girlfriend."

Hughes bit his lip. He had to admit that this was some cruel humor but it wasn't funny only because Havoc had no luck with women. Havoc crumpled up the little note and threw it away. Then he turned to Riza "So, what did you get?" Riza then went to her box and tore the paper. She then took the lid off the box. "What the-" Was all she said as she took out the mini-skirt. Hughes and Havoc were trying their hardest not to fall on the floor and laugh. Riza then went red in the face, threw down the skirt, and took her gun out.

"How dare he embarrass me like this!" She yelled out. She was about to go look for Roy's blood but Havoc and Hughes held her back.

"I really don't think the mini-skirt was such a good idea, Roy." Ghost Hughes said to Roy. "Well… I had to give it a try." Roy said. Maes shook his head in disappointment and the background went back to that of Roy's room. "Well Roy, I can only hope you learned some things from that little trip. And if you didn't, be warned! The Ghost of Christmas Shopping Days Present will be here in exactly one hour!" And with that Ghost Hughes faded away. Roy yawned and then said "Well… I can't wait to wake up from this dream."

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Just one last note. Rei doesn't know what Havoc's religion is, so don't flame the whole Jewish thing. I just wanted to add that Jewish thing somewhere along the lines. XD Anyways, thanks for reading! Of course there is to be more but that's later. 


	3. Christmas Shopping Days Present

Behold Chapter 3! I don't think it's as funny as chapter 2 but oh well. I promise the next chapter will be better!

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Chapter 3: Shopping Days Present

Ding… Ding… Ding… It was 1 AM now. Roy was drooling on his covers and then he woke up from another cold wind. He shivered and sat up. He fell off his off his bed when he saw another ghostly figure in front of him.

"Dr. Marco!" Roy asked startlingly as he pulled himself up. Marco rose up one of his see-through hands in a gesture saying "Hello." It was quiet for a second the Roy said. "Let me guess… You're the Ghost of Christmas Shopping Days Present?"

"Yes, I am. You didn't learn your lesson with Hughes so now I have to try. And I'm warning you, you don't want to mess with Future."

"I'm still having this crazy dream…"

"It's not a dream Roy. You really need to put more though into the gifts you get people! Even the Homunculi spend money to get presents for each other!" Marco said. "Yeah right. The Homunculi are evil. They don't do that type of thing." Roy said as if it were taught to first graders.

"Really, let's take a look at them now then."

They suddenly appeared in front of an old abandoned house. Inside of it were two of the Homunculi sitting at a table. It was Wrath and Gluttony.

"I'm hungry… Can I eat you?" Gluttony asked as he looked at Wrath. The little boy looked nervously at Gluttony. "NO! Jeez, where's Lust? Isn't she supposed to feed you?" Wrath said. Then the door opened and Lust came in with bags in her hands.

"Lust! Do you have food?" Gluttony asked eagerly. Lust sighed and dug through one of the bags. She took out two boxes of 24 packs of candy canes and threw them on the floor. Gluttony pounced on them.

"Well anyways… Wrath, here you go." She said as she took out a tin can and handed it to him. Wrath opened the can and "Oooh! A Darth Vader Star Wars watch from BK! Thanks Lust!" He said happily. Then from another room, Sloth came out holding a huge plate with a huge turkey on it. "I made Christmas dinner!" She said with a smile. "Yay! Let's just hope Gluttony doesn't scarf it down!" Wrath said giving a harsh look towards Gluttony, who still pigging out on his candy canes. Then Greed came through the door holding a box.

"Hey look! Pride got us presents!" He said. Everyone was surprised. Normally, Pride never did anything like that. Except last year but… they just hoped it wouldn't be the same as last year. They all dug through the box and each got themselves a small little package wrapped in tissue paper. When they opened them "Oh… He gave us pictures of himself… again…" Lust said grimly. "But the frames look really expensive. We might be able to sell them for some good money." Greed told them.

"Hey… Where's Envy? Shouldn't he be there too?" Roy asked Marco. Marco simply ignored that question and said "See, the Homunculi are better with their gifts to each other than you are with other people!"

"HEY! I pick presents for people just fine!" Roy snapped.

"Really?" Marco asked. Then the background suddenly changed to Resembool. They were now near the Rockbell residence.

"WHO'S HE CALLING SO SMALL YOU CAN CRUSH ME LIKE AN ANT!" Ed shouted angrily. They turned to see Ed about to pounce on a card on the porch. Al quickly held Ed back. "Brother, it's just a card! And that's not even what it says! I'm sure whatever the Colonel put he didn't really mean it!" He said.

"Yeah right! That bastard loves to send these things to me!" Ed said twice as angrily.

"You know he's right." Mustang told Marco with a grin. Marco sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

"So what did mustang get for you?" Ed asked Al. Al gave a little groan that obviously meant he didn't want to tell. "C'mon Al it can't be that bad!" Al sighed and then said "He gave me some cheap armor cleaner…"

"Ooooh… it is that bad. I wonder if he knows you don't like getting stuff like that."

Al shrugged. "C'mon Brother, Aunt Pinako gonna have our heads if we don't get back inside." He told Ed. Ed gave an evil smile and said "What head Al?" And with that snatched Al's helmet and ran inside. "Hey! Ed, give it back!" He shouted as he also ran inside.

"Do you see that you have to put more thought in your gifts Roy?" Marco asked as the scenery went back to that of Roy's room. "Nope, I know this is all just a whacky dream that I'm going to forget as soon as I wake up." Roy told him. Marco gave another sigh ad said "I warned you Roy! Future will be coming and trust me… you'll be sorry." And the pearly white figure of Dr. Marco disappeared. "Yeah right. What ghost can possibly be that bad?"

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So is this really a whacky dream that Roy's having? Will Roy learn how to give real girfts? Where's Envy and who can possibly be the Ghost of Christmas Shopping Days Future? Why am I asking all these questions! Most of them to be answered in the next chapter!

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Now let's give Rei good reviews or we'll make Ed here drink milk every hour!

Ed: What!You never said that!

Now, now Ed. You should know I lied.


	4. WTF! Future is?

Chapter 4 is finally up! YAY! If you somehow knew who Future was, then good for you, but those who didn't know, you'll be surprised. Nyehe... 

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Chapter 4: WTF? Future is-!

Ding… Ding… Ding… It was now 2 AM. All seemed normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Roy was fast asleep, no ghostly winds interrupting his slumber. Then his door knob handle began to jiggle. "Damn it to hell… Why'd _I_ have to get this job… I'm not even dead!" Someone said from the outside. "The door's locked too! Damn!" He walked over to the window and opened it. "Least he's not above locking the window." He said with a smirk. He crawled inside and walked up to Roy. "Hey… wake up!" He spat. Roy mumbled and turned over. Then –SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!- "WAKE UP YOU STUPID HUMAN!" Envy shouted at Roy as he slapped him. Roy suddenly opened his eyes to a searing pain on his face and saw the green haired Homunculus standing over him. Roy panicked and grabbed his glove. He was about to snap when "HEY WAIT! I'm not here to kill you… at least not now…" Envy told him. Roy stared at Envy for a second with a puzzled look on his face.

"Wait… you're the Ghost of Christmas Shopping Days Future?" Roy asked. Envy looked away and said "Well, technically I'm not dead so I can't really be called a ghost…"

"This is definitely a dream." Roy said to himself. "Hmph, I wish." Envy said in an irritated tone. "But why are you future?" Roy asked Envy. He shrugged and said "The writer couldn't think of anymore dead characters she'd like to use. So it was either a choice between me or Wrath."

"Why just you or Wrath?"

"We're her favorite characters it seems… and then you apparently follow after us."

"Wow! Really?"

"Listen we're getting off topic here! I just want to get this over with!" Envy snapped. "So basically all I need to show you is how bad your life gets in the future. If don't talk, maybe we can finish this fast and I can go home!" And before Roy could say anything the scenery changed. Roy couldn't tell where he was. "Where are we?" He asked Envy. Envy looked around.

"I think… I think… Damn I forgot my line!"

_Rei sighs. "It's 'I think we're in Central somewhere.' Got it?"_

"Yeah, sorry about that…" Envy said nervously. "Anyways, I think we're in Central somewhere."

"Yeah, somewhere. But where?" Roy asked as he began to walk around. Envy stayed in his place and merely just turned his head to get a look around. "Oh, now I know where we are! We're in the back roads." Envy said.

"Back roads? Why in the back roads?" Roy asked. Envy rolled his eyes "You and your damn questions…" He then pointed straight ahead. Roy looked and he saw two people run past quickly. Roy and Envy followed. They then saw they were at a dead end and that some people had gathered at this dead end.

"It's time to get back at Roy." A voice said. "Yeah… I'm tired of him giving me mini-skirts every year." Said another voice, this one female. "… I really don't like the armor cleaner…" Another voice piped up. "He keeps telling me to get a girlfriend! Does he know about my luck with women! And I'm Jewish! I don't believe in Christmas!" Came another voice. A closer look told Roy that the group was made up of Ed, Al Havoc, Riza and a few other people who were also piping in about the bad presents that Roy had gotten them.

"He gave me his old socks… Unwashed!"

"He gave me a used book on advanced Algebra! And I hate math!"

"He gave me a dead plant!"

And the list went on. And finally Ed said "Hey, why can't we just go and get him now!"

"YEAH!" "Havoc! You go dig the grave!" Ed said.

"Are you serious?" Havoc asked. "Yes I am! Now go!" Ed said as he pointed to the cemetery. Havoc shrugged and headed off.

"They're going to try and kill me?" Roy said frantically. "Yup… If they'd do it to each other…" Envy said. Then the scenery changed again. They were now in the cemetery. It seemed Havoc had just arrived with a shovel. He chose a spot and began digging.

"He's… he's really digging!" Roy said terrified. "They're going to kill me because I didn't give them good presents?"

"Actually they were just going to stick you in a box and throw you down there for a day or two to learn a lesson. They weren't really going to kill you; it was just in the moment." Envy told Roy, even though Envy did like to see Roy panic like that. Roy just gave a sigh of relief and then saw that Havoc was done (that was fast) digging the so-called grave. Roy went up to it and looked down at it.

"Wow this is really deep…" He said. Envy forked and eyebrow and gave an evil grin. "Deep?"

"Yeah, really deep! I don't think anyone'd be able to get out of here easily."

"Really?"

"Yeah… wait why are you giving me that look?" Roy asked. Envy then pushed Roy in the hole and grabbed the shovel. Envy then began to shovel the dirt back in the hole.

"What the hell are you doing! You're help me not kill me!" Roy yelled out. Envy then gave Roy a look and pointed to himself. "Hello! Evil here! Besides, you aren't going to learn your lesson anyways…" And with that Envy continued to shovel the dirt in the hole.

Roy shot up and yelled "NOOOOO! … Oh it was a dream…" He said to himself gratefully. "But it felt like Envy really was there burying me alive… And I have dirt in my hair." He then looked around and saw the broken dollhouse he got for Elicia. "Wait… it's shattered… That's right Hughes came and shattered it! It wasn't a dream!"

Meanwhile, on a rooftop Envy is watching. "You are so lucky the writer refused to let me kill you! But she gave me permission that if you're still a cheapskate I can kill you!" Envy said. He was hoping that Roy wouldn't learn his lesson. Sure it may not have been any of the Elrics but it was the next best thing he supposed.

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Well, it's still not over. I'm going to add one more chapter, maybe even another after that one. Yeah this isn't a very long fic XP But since when have I written a longfanfic (well, besides EPA... man I miss that fanfic...)? Anyways, Rei has to go.


	5. Lesson Learned

Here it is the final chapter of the story! I'm still questioning whether to add a sort of after-story type thing. Anyways, I'll talk about that at the end so.

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Chapter 5: Lesson Learned

"Oh Roy, Elicia absolutely loves it!" Said Gracia as she looked at her daughter who was happily playing with her dolls in a really expensive looking dollhouse. "It was no problem Gracia. Now I have to go now." Roy told Gracia as he waved and headed off. After his experience last night he had changed completely (well in some areas at least). No longer was he a cheapskate!

When he got to the military building the first one he spotted, Havoc. "Hey Havoc I got something for you!" Roy said as he handed a small little gift to him. "How many times do I have to say it… I'M JEWISH!" Havoc said to Roy angrily. "Just because you're Jewish doesn't mean you can't celebrate the secular part of Christmas." Roy told him and the he walked off.

"Hey… he's right…" Havoc said. He looked at the small present. "Three guesses what this is…" He opened it and "Hey…a gift card."

"Oh Ed, Al, you're back from Resembool so soon?" Riza asked when she saw Ed and Al in the cafeteria. "Yeah, figured it was time to get to searching for the Philosopher's Stone again." Ed said. But before anything else could be said "Edward, Alphonse, Hawkeye! Just the three I wanted to see." Roy said as he walked up to them. He handed each of them a box.

'_Great… another mini-skirt I'm never going to wear…'_ Riza thought. Al sighed, _'Not more cheap armor cleaner…'_ Ed already felt hot headed _'I swear if it's another one of those cards…'_

Each of them opened up the boxes and "Oh wow! I've always wanted one of these hats!" Al said as he took out the Santa hat and put it on as best he could on his metal head. "… A stress ball… I could always use one of these…" Ed said examining the small rubber ball. "It's a… it's a new pistol…" Riza said amazed at her gift. She put her new gun at her side, walked up to Roy, and then pointed up. Roy looked up and felt himself blush… Mistletoe. Now during the confusion between Riza and Roy (they know what happens when you step under the mistletoe they just don't know how to handle it XD) Ed took the time to squeeze his little stress ball. As soon as he did, the word "Short" stuck out at him.

"COLONEL BASTARD!" Ed yelled as he pounced on Roy (Leave it to Ed to ruin a cute moment between Riza and Roy…). Luckily, Al and Riza pulled Ed off before he could do any major damage to Roy.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey Envy! You got a gift!" Wrath said as he held out a box to Envy. Envy forked an eyebrow and took the box. "Okay kid, now scram!" Envy told Wrath harshly. Wrath pouted and walked off. Envy then looked down at his box and opened it. Then –SPROING!- a boxing glove planted itself right into Envy's face. A letter that was attached to the glove swayed down. It said:

"Don't try and bury me alive again.

-Roy Mustang, The Flame Alchemist"

And thus, Roy Mustang was never a cheapskate when it came to Christmas after this ever again. Even though he still gave Ed gifts that had made references to his height, they were still better than cards. Envy knew never to try and bury someone alive now, because if they survived they would send boxes with springing boxing gloves in them. Now he holds an extreme grudge against Roy Mustang… even though his face healed.

**THE END**

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As I said, I'm still question whether to do a sort after-story. You know a sort of, how the FMA characters feel about doing this fanfic and stuff like that. I'm still questioning it though. I'll make a decision when I see the reviews. If the people ask, the people will get so... that's it. 


	6. The After Show

Just fair warning, there is MAJOR Havoc bashing here! Don't be mean to me, it just ended up like that! Normally I don't mind him it just ended up like this! And it's more towards the end too. 

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The After Show

"Hi!" Said Rei (the author, me!). "My name's K. Rei and I am the author of this fanfic! Rei managed to gather almost everyone who made an appearance, well at least an important one, right here! And now, like a talk show, we're going to ask them annoying questions that drive them crazy that have to do with the fanfic!" She said. "And without further adieu here they are!" And then another part of the stage lit up. Ed, Al, Roy, Riza, Havoc, Wrath, and Envy were there. Envy noticing the crowd, immediately stopped picking his nose.

"So guys… We're here to talk about what happened in the fanfic. Now Roy, Riza… are the rumors true?" Riza blushed a bit at this question and Roy was confused. "What rumors?" He asked.

"Well, from the question Colonel Mustang just asked you can figure out the answer for yourself…" Riza said. "Oh well that's too bad…" Rei said a bit disappointed. "What are you guys talking about!" Roy asked once again. Rei completely ignored Roy and then went on to the next thing to do.

"So what's your face, are you really Jewish?" Rei asked Havoc. Havoc was a little peeved that she didn't remember his name but said "Maybe, maybe not." Everyone else sighed (except Roy who is still confused about the previous question). "Can you just give her a straight answer?" Riza said.

"No, she didn't remember my name." Said Havoc. "That isn't a very good reason…" Al said quietly. "You see, this is why I hate humans! They're so whiny!" Envy said rather irritated. Havoc shot a glance at Envy. "Well, if you _must_ know, I'm a Catholic Jew for Allah!"

"That isn't even a real religion!" Ed said in the same tone as Envy.

"Really, what was that last question about!" Roy asked cluelessly, everyone still ignoring him. There was silence for a bit. "Wrath you haven't said anything throughout the whole after show? Anything you might wanna say?" Rei said. Wrath looked around. "Why am I here again?" He asked. "Because you're so cute!" Rei said as she began to pinch one of Wrath's cheeks.

"Keep pinching my cheek and I will make sure I attach you to the floor." Wrath threatened. "Okay! Next topic!" Rei said immediately going back to her seat. "So Al, overall how did you feel about doing this fan fiction?" Rei asked.

"Well I enjoyed it really… well most of it anyway. Brother kept taking off my head and sticking it places I couldn't find. But other than that it was actually kind of fun."

"Hello! What was the first question about!"

"Okay Envy, how did you feel about doing the fic?" Rei asked, ignoring Roy once again. "A boxing glove hit my face! How do you think I feel?" Envy told her harshly. "Serves you right." Havoc mumbled. "What did you say punk?" Envy turned to him.

"I said 'serves you right' you green haired freak!"

"Oh you are asking for it!" Envy said as he got up, ready to attack Havoc. "Bring it on, _ma'am_!" Havoc seemed ready for anything. Envy was about to jump but then Al said "No don't fight! That's not what we're here for!" "Let it go Al. That's not going to stop them." Ed told his brother. "He's right." Agreed Wrath. Riza merely sighed and thought _'How immature…'_ While Roy was just "Will someone answer my question?" Envy and Havoc were about to begin their fight when suddenly an air horn blew. Everyone turned to Rei.

"Rei agrees with Al! We're not here to kill each other! This is an after show, not a death match!" She told them all angrily. Everyone stared. Envy and Havoc immediately went back to their chairs and took their seats. It was quiet now but then.

"Is someone going to answer my question now?" Roy asked. Rei sighed and finally gave in. "Listen you thick skulled idiot. Well, cute thick skulled idiot at least." Riza shot a look at Rei. "ANYWAYS!" She continued, worried that Riza would kill her if she didn't finish. "Riza digs you, you dig Riza. The problem is, you two get mixed messaged from each other, and therefore you don't make moves. Since my fan fic was Roy/Riza-esque, I figured it would get you two together… since you make an oh-so cute couple! But apparently it didn't happen!"

Roy now was rather shocked. He didn't have anything to say. Riza was blushing wildly. Ed, Envy and Wrath were trying to contain their laughter. And Al was a little surprised. It was quiet again.

"LOOK AT HER! ISN'T SHE ADORABLE!" Hughes said as he suddenly jumped on the stage holding up pictures of Elicia. "DAMMIT HUGHES! This is _exactly_ why Rei didn't invite you!" Rei shouted as she pushed Hughes off the stage. Rei now getting quite annoyed with the way things were going took a deep breath.

"Well that's all for now! Thanks for reading _Ghosts of Christmas Shopping Days_ and for giving such nice reviews. Rei wishes you all Happy Holidays this winter season! And now, we bid you farewell." She said. Then Havoc walked up to her. "Say you're kind of cute…"

"Ew, ew, ew, he's hitting on me!" Rei said frantically. Envy then got up and threw Havoc right off the stage. "Man, I've been waiting to that forever! … Now if only it was one of the Elrics…" Envy said. "We're right here you know!" Edtold Envy as he pointed to himself and Al.

"Hey, can we get candy canes?" Wrath asked. Rei looked down at him "Sure! Who else wants to come?" Rei asked. Everybody else, except Havoc who was currently unaware of anything that was going on in his dazed state, came and followed Rei and Wrath off the stage.

* * *

Yup there it is. I wish I could've given Riza and Al some more lines but, they're the quiet ones so it's hard to make them talkative. Anyways, that's it. As much as I loved writing this, this is the end. Once again: Thanks for reading! 


End file.
